so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
