I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
