I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize