Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize