well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
