just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
