I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
