What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
