If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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