in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When are your genitals available?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
