took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
