My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
