Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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