I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
