He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize