Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
