you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do vagina's smell?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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