I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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