I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
