why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
