...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
