Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
