You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
