i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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