this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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