I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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