It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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