yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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