I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So much rum. So many feels.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
