he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
