I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
