it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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