I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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