a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
