i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I will be naked everywhere
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
