I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.