Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.