I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction