new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.