I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.