I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire