She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
