I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
