This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
