Pants 0. Shit 1.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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