This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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