Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
