I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize