is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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