Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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