She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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