it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
