she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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