my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
