I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
