beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i've created a new STD.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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