i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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