What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
