I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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