I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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