Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
