please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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