apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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